Thursday, January 20, 2022

Dad's Obituary

Dad's Obituary
Thursday, January 20, 2022
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I want my Dad's obituary to live here on my blog so that whenever I want to find it I can.

 

Whenever I want to read it I can.

 

Whenever my kids want to read it they can.

 

Whenever any of his family or friends want to read it they can.

 

Leslie Brian Stager

 

 

RIP Dad.

 

I love you.

 


Thursday, January 13, 2022

Say Her Name

Say Her Name
Thursday, January 13, 2022
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Megan. 


Her name is Megan. 

 

The nurse that held my Dad's hand and was there for his last breaths and moments on this earth is named Megan. She was the last one to give him comfort. Her voice was likely the last one he heard. Even if it was subconsciously.


This post is a reminder for people to please be mindful of poking fun of the pandemic.


For poking fun at the pandemic, the over run hospitals, the over worked doctors and nurses. Over protective people. Mask wearers. Just everything.

 

To you it might be a joke or a laugh or just a meme, but to some it's real life, raw and in the flesh. 


Please think of the people that have actually lived through these things first hand. 

 

Me. My siblings. My Mom.

 

To some Megan might be just another nurse, but to my Mom she was everything. She was the voice on the other side of the phone updating her on my Dad's condition, explaining everything in detail and talking her through the tough decisions to be made. She was the literal lifeline between my Mom and my Dad.

 

I cannot think of Megan and not feel a sense of gratitude to her. A woman I have never met. A woman I might not ever get to meet. A woman that probably has her own people to take care of in this world, but at that moment was taking care of my Dad.

 

I can't help but wonder how many hands has she held in their last moments? How many last breaths has she witnessed? How many Wives has she talked to on the phone like my Mom? How many families has she impacted like ours?

 

Sadly, our situation is not unique. There have been many families affected by this pandemic in various ways. If you are one of the lucky ones that hasn't been affected by this pandemic or have had Covid and made it out on the other side with little to no complications for you or a loved one...Congratulations. Many have not. Please keep that in mind before you post your next meme on social media.

 

You don't know what might be a trigger for someone or set them off down a path of unknown. I know it has happened to me in the last month and if it has happened to me and affected my day than I know it is happening to others. I'm asking that you be mindful of what you say to others and be mindful of what you share.

 


Sunday, December 26, 2021

It's OK

It's OK
Sunday, December 26, 2021
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No One 

 

5 days before my Dad passed, when he started to really not feel well, he looked my Mom straight in the face and said words that shocked us all...

 

"I should've gotten the vaccine." 

 

Deep down I think he knew in that moment he had it bad.

 

He told the same thing to the EMT 2 days later in the ambulance as they were working on getting his oxygen level up in his driveway before taking him to the hospital. What did the EMT respond with?

 

"You can't beat yourself up about it now."

 

Just a short, but long, 3 days later he was gone. I'm sure he beat himself up about it. I'm sure everything ran through his brain a million times as he was laying in that hospital bed. I have to believe that if he had a second chance he would get the vaccine. He would choose life. He would have chosen us over anything else.

 

This is what I was talking about in my previous post when I said as parents we always say that we would die for our children, but would we live for them? Again, I have to believe that if he had a second chance he would make a different choice.

 

He had chosen not to get vaccinated even though his Wife is vaccinated, all 4 of his children are vaccinated, his son-in-law and both of his grand kids are vaccinated, two of his siblings are vaccinated and even his own Mother is vaccinated.

 

It's not just him that we lost and the role he played in each of our lives, it's all the people he left behind. All the people that loved him and just wanted him to get the fucking vaccine. To not take that chance on life, or death for that matter.


People have told me to not be angry that he didn't get vaccinated, but I am. I believe without a shadow of a doubt the vaccine would've saved my Dad's life and other's like him. People that I have heard about through friends and family who did not get the vaccine, but were sick with Covid in the hospital and uttered those same exact words to their loved ones. That's one thing that makes me angry. People taking a gamble on Covid versus the vaccine.  

 

And for those people who respond with:

 

"Don't be mad or angry" or 

"I had Covid back in April and almost died of it and still refuse to get the vaccine" or 

it's "just a vaccine" or 

"I'm not vaccinated, but had it already and only have a 13% chance of getting it again" or 

"It's all a hoax." 

 

Really? Shut the fuck up. Don't tell me your experience with Covid when you clearly are alive and my Father is not. Don't compare your story to his. Don't give me statistics. Just don't. I don't care. Don't tell me how I should feel. Don't tell me to not be angry, because you know what? It just makes me more angry. None of those statements above are proper or appropriate responses to someone grieving. So just take my advice that it's better if you just don't say anything at all.

 

My sister, Amie, said it best in her post on Facebook:

 

"it's okay to be wrong. it's okay to change your mind. it's okay to be mistaken and vulnerable."

 

Even though his admission to my Mom brings pain, my family and I want to share his words with anyone who will listen.

 

It's OK to change your mind. 

It's OK to make a mistake. 

It's OK to admit when you are wrong. 

It's OK to be vulnerable.

It's ok.






Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Dad

Dad
Wednesday, December 15, 2021
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It’s taken me awhile to find the words because there are none. I’ve had to stop and come back several times. I’ve had to break down and cry. I’ve had to articulate what my heart is FEELING while struggling with what my brain is THINKING. It’s an ongoing battle and can get soul crushing at times.

My Dad, Les, passed away Saturday night, December 11, 2021, at 7:20 p.m. I was on the plane flying to Minnesota when his spirit was lifted from his body and I believe he was guiding me home to be with my Mom and siblings.

He was 57. I am 38. You do the math. He had so much life yet to live. He was married to my Mom, his high school sweetheart, for 32 years. We went through a lot to say the least. If you know me you know that our relationship wasn’t always easy and we had a lot of ups and downs. He was a simple yet complex man. If you knew him you understand. He was not an easy man to live with. He left us with a lot of things unsaid. You always think you will have more time.

If you knew him though you knew he was proud. Proud of his Wife, proud of his kids, proud of the life he built, proud of his family and friends. He was also loyal and would do anything for anybody. I know he loved us with all his heart the best he could. He was a lot of things to a lot of people, and I take comfort in knowing he meant so much and had an impact on people the way he did. We are all devastated and numb and it will be a struggle to accept this new reality and navigate life without him.

I would be remiss to not share what has become an increasingly common situation.

My Dad was unvaccinated. He tested positive with Covid. It killed him.  

Every word of those last three sentences makes me angry and sad. Our worst fear played out like a movie that we had already seen. We didn’t get to be with him, hold his hand or tell him that we love him.

As a parent you say you would die for your children, but would you live for them? That is what I struggle with everyday. That is what makes me angry and sad.

I don’t care for the word closure. His death is not an end to anything. Instead I find moments of peace where my heart is not battling my brain. Again, an ongoing battle that I will have to navigate for the rest of my life. Hearing a Def Leppard song will never be the same. A lot of things will never be the same.

I am thankful for this critical time that I have had with my Mom, Ross, Amie and Kate. The honesty, truth and connection that we have had has been life-changing and I don’t know what I would do without them.

To my Husband, my rock and my best friend, I thank God for you everyday. You are always there to support, carry and lift me up when I need it.

To Hailey and Griffin, thank you for allowing me to be your Mom. It is my greatest achievement of my life.

My Dad is now one of my guardian angels along with Keli Jo, Grandpa Earl and Grandpa Henry. I will forever be grateful for all the things he taught me. The good and the bad. I Love You Dad. #rockon

 

 


Monday, June 22, 2020

Here We Go Again

Here We Go Again
Monday, June 22, 2020
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What. A. Week. What a month. What a year. What a life. It’s crazy. If you haven’t heard the news yet, well the D Fam is moving to Nashville, Tennessee.

5 years ago, Wayne and I took a leap of faith and moved across the country from Minnesota, the only place we had ever known, to the desert in Las Vegas. We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into, but we never imagined that it would be what is it today or that this city would mean as much to us as it does. Now, we are again taking a leap of faith and preparing our family for another cross country move to Nashville, TN. Even though our hearts are heavy for leaving this city, our hearts are also full and open for this new experience. Las Vegas has felt more like home than anywhere else. We’ve only been here for 5 years, but it honestly feels like 20. The amount of love that we have received in the last 5 years from not only our sports families (#vgk #lvaces), but the city of Las Vegas in general will never be forgotten. This is where our son was #vegasborn. This is where we experienced the tragedy of Route91, but also saw this city and the country music community rally together and come back better than ever. Las Vegas, NV has for sure had an impact on our journey in this life and will always have a special place in our hearts.



Right now our plan is to head out mid to late July as school starts there at the beginning of August and we want to give our family a bit of time to get settled. In the meantime, we have a house to sell and pack and prepare.

Wayne will head out there earlier than us in order to look for a home for our family and start working in Nashville. He will then fly home and we will make the trek together as a family of 4, along with our puppies. As I have said so many times this whole thing is surreal and very bittersweet!! This is not goodbye, but see ya later!


Friday, June 12, 2020

Life Lately - January 2020 - April 2020

Life Lately - January 2020 - April 2020
Friday, June 12, 2020
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Uffda, it's been a hot minute since updating this little blog. I keep saying I need to be more consistent in posting, but I just can't seem to set aside the time to do it or I just don't feel like typing. So here we are now already well into 2020 and I find myself asking where has the time gone?

But in all actuality, this is where our time has gone:
Alex Tuch Meet n Greet

Ingrid Andress opened for Keith Urban at the Colesseum

Tenille Townes opened for Keith Urban at the Colesseum

Hailey kicking butt at school and getting awards
Dierks Bentley with Caylee Hammack opening

Friends in town visiting for a fun weekend including a VGK game
Fun with friends at The Place on 7th

Birthday Parties with friends

March 15th was when the Governor closed schools and then the following week is when the Stay at Home Orders went into place.

Even with the order in place, I continued to work at the law-firm full-time, Wayne started working mostly from home, Hailey switched off of staying home with Wayne and coming to work with me and Griff continued to go to his daycare/school.
Birthday Celebrations while still social distancing


Birthday wishes via zoom with my best people

Ronald McDonald Virtual 5k

Here's to keeping up with this blog.

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