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Friday, October 5, 2018

Body Booster - Part 1

Body Booster - Part 1
Friday, October 5, 2018
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So almost three years to the day (10/7/2015) Wayne had his gastric sleeve surgery. You can read all about that HERE. That procedure was the best decision he ever made for himself and even though it was a difficult road the following months after, it truly changed who he was for the better. I will forever be grateful for Dr. Tom and his team.

Now, today he is getting a less invasive procedure done at Belle Medical called HD Body Sculpting. He is getting his upper abdomen, lower abdomen and love handles done. With the 200 lbs he's lost since the surgery there were still a few problem areas that he wanted to take care of. Well, that's where Belle Medical steps in to help.

This is what he shared on his FB about it. We will be documenting his surgery, recovery and the following weeks and months as the sculpting process continues to work it's magic. He has been very open about all his struggles with weight loss and confidence even before the gastric sleeve surgery and will continue to be open about this, too. He truly feels that if he can help even one person with whatever they are going through or feeling by sharing his story, then it is all worth the vulnerability that can be so scary.

Now, let me just tell you that we have been together for 15+ years and I have loved him from the moment we met and knew shortly after we started officially dating that we were meant for each other.

I have loved him at his heaviest (440+ lbs) and supported him from the get go of whatever he needed to do to feel better about himself and gain that inner self-confidence that he felt he was missing. This whole journey has been about him and being THE BEST person he can be not only for himself, but for his family.

If you have ever met him, then you know he exudes confidence, but that doesn't mean that inside he is confident. There's a difference between the two and you would never know that about him. He still sees that 440+ lb guy in the mirror and struggles with that daily. It's hard to get out of that mindset when you were in it for so long. I am confident that this procedure will help him with the confidence he needs to feel the best for himself.

I have always supported him in whatever he has wanted to do, because I know that he supports me now in whatever I do and that he would support me in anything that I would want to do in the future.

Bottom line is: I am his biggest cheerleader.

So stay tuned for more updates on his procedure in the following days, weeks and months.

Monday, October 1, 2018


Monday, October 1, 2018
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This week has been hard. Like really hard. Like brain exploding one minute and then heart exploding the next. My eyes are tired from all the tears, but my hurt is full from all the love.

First off, we had to put our little Bella down last Sunday. She was almost 12 and as much as we hated doing it, it was time. She became blind about 4+ years ago and had gone downhill since then. She would only sporadically eat her food for the past few weeks, so we knew the time was getting closer.  Hailey of course was a wreck which made it 10x worse. But nevertheless, we rallied together and got through it as a family.

The vet called me on Friday morning saying that her remains, etc. were ready for pick-up. Wayne and Griff picked up her ashes Sunday morning and Griff was so cute about it. He wanted to hold her on the way home. Needless to say this didn't help with our emotions going into the month of October.

Today is October 1st. If you are new around here, please read HERE and HERE.

It’s been 365 days and there isn't one day that goes by that I don't think about that night and how differently things could have turned out. I wanna say that I'm doing well, but I guess it just depends on the day and time. It depends on where I am or what I'm doing or who I'm with. There are a lot of different factors that determine my mood and/or level of anxiety at any given time and I know that my fellow survivor family can relate.

For me it's not all about October 1st. For me it's more about October 2nd and everyday after. It's about continuing to process what we went through not only that night, but as the sun rose, as the city started moving and as we started healing as a community. It's not just about what we saw, what we heard, what we witnessed. It's about the healing I have done since that day, but also the healing that I have yet to do. It's about my everyday since that day.

It's about my amazing support system in my Husband and children. They are my motivation to keep going and be the best person, Wife and Mother I can be. They are my entire world and I try and show them that everyday. My one thought and fear as I was running for my life that night was that I just hoped that they knew how much I loved them. That's all I for Wayne, Hailey and Griffin to know that I love them with all my heart.

It's about all the amazing people I have met since then. It's about all the amazing friends I now have since that night. It's about the relationships and the connections I have with my people now. That is my silver lining in all of this

It's about my two friends that were with me from Minnesota that weekend. I admit that I not only have #survivorsguilt, but guilt knowing that they wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for coming to visit me in Las Vegas for that weekend and that country music festival. To Samantha and Katie. I am so thankful that we made it out of there alive. I don't want to imagine it any other way. I love you both so much!

For me it's about the VGK organization and the friends that have come out of our #goknightsgo family. They will never truly know how they have helped this community and me and my family especially.

It's about how my city reacted and still reacts. For me it's about all the positive things that have come out of that very dark time and even though it sucks that it happened, I am thankful that I am still here to live everyday with the people I love.

A year ago we were #VegasStrong and now on October 1, 2018 we are #VegasStronger.

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