7 days ago not only my life was changed, but everyone around me and the whole city of Las Vegas was changed forever. I know that not everyone died and affected by this horrible event was from Vegas, but it happened in Vegas, in our city. It happened to our people working. It happened to our law enforcement teams. It's an invasion like no other. So I'm just gonna be blunt and say it and put it out there that I think country music and the city of Nashville has taken some of the focus off of Vegas and for that it makes me sad. I know that we were all there because of our love for country music and of course music will help to heal us, but before #CountryStrong it should #VegasStrong. You can disagree with me if you want. That's your right, but that's how I feel right now, today.
7 days post massacre. And I say days, because each one has been hard in it's own right. But also each one better than the last.
And by the way I hate that word. Massacre. Even if it is true. Even if it is the worst in history. I just hate hearing that word, much less saying it. Again it makes me sad. So many things these days make me sad when I really think about stuff. That's the hard part. Not thinking, but thinking. I often think what the last 7 days would be like if the outcome were any different than what it was. I try not to think about it. My friend Katie, did a blog post about survivors guilt. We all have it in some form or another. We all process it and deal with it in our own way. I have my own and I suppose that will eventually be another topic of this blog.
I was finally looking back at some of my photos and I came across one of Jason Aldean that I posted to my Insta stories. I have a setting on my Insta account that all pictures and videos get saved to my camera roll no matter what once they are posted. I love that feature. Now more than ever.
It posted and was saved at 10:06 PM. The picture next to it is my first text to Sam at 10:07 PM. Just a mere minute between these moments and our lives changed forever.
We went to go get my car yesterday. We had to park and walk. We checked in with the officers that are in the church lot next door. My name was on a list of many, although my car was one of the last few in the lot. One of the officers walked with us. It was surreal being back there and telling Wayne exactly the path that Katie and I ran. I told him as we were standing at the car in the exact spot that is where I was talking to him. I showed him the fence that we went through to get to the street that led us to Desert Rose Resort. Away from the lot. Away from the shooting. Away from the screaming. Betty White was unharmed and just as Jill had said I started her up and away we went, away from the lot, she took me home.