Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Roller Coaster of Emotion {Part 1}

The past month couple of months have been a true roller coaster of emotion. As some of you might know and some of you probably don't know... I was pregnant. "Was" being the key word in that sentence. We did not tell everyone and we didn't post anything on facebook. We wanted to wait until I was further along to share the great news with the public. We never got that opportunity this time around, so now I am sharing as a closure of one chapter and onto the next.

Preface: After going off the pill April 1st, we were elated to find out on Father's Day that I was pregnant. We had left everything up to God because we didn't know how long it would take us to actually get pregnant. Would it be just a few months or would it be a year or more? To our surprise it happened a lot faster than we thought. Some would say too good to be true. Which in our case that's exactly what it was.

The week we found out I started keeping a journal, because I wanted to keep every moment documented. That was about a month and a half ago. It had become a journal of some sort as I would have normally blogged about it, but we wanted to wait for the right moment to share the great news with everyone. Now I am transferring some of my journal entries of the past couple months to my blog.

It was a great release for me and my emotions while writing it and as said previously, I am hoping that it will be a release for me now as this chapter comes to an end and Wayne and I move forward. I have cut a few entries out as it is quite lengthy, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Happy Father’s Day!

Sunday, June 20, 2010 (4 wks, 4 days)

I was 4 days late (due for my monthly friend on June 16th) and so I had told myself that if I made it through the wedding that my Husband, Wayne, was in that weekend without getting “it”, I would take a test on Sunday, not really realizing it was actually Father’s Day. Well, Sunday rolled around with still no sign of “it,” so I caved and we took a pregnancy test late that evening. It was positive.

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We were stunned, excited, nervous, etc. Wayne didn’t believe me at first until he read the directions himself and realized it really was a plus sign that we were seeing. I said “I told you so.” This was us right after we found out.

Wayne’s “Oh shit, what did we just do” face
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My “OMG, we’re going to be parents” face
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Needless to say, it is a Father’s Day that Wayne will always remember and we are looking forward to many more special Father’s Days to come.

“Here we go, Mama”

Wednesday, June 23, 2010 (5 wks)

We kept our little secret to ourselves for a few days and I started researching online all about pregnancy. The word OVERWHELMING comes to mind when I think about it.

On Wednesday, June 23rd, I decided to call Buffalo Clinic to see what the first step was. After confirming my name and birth date, she asked me “Reason for visit?” At first I didn’t know what to say, but then it clicked, “I think I’m pregnant.” “Congratulations,” she said, very cheery. After confirming my first day of my last period (Wednesday, May 19th) and that I had indeed taken a home test and it was positive she said they had an opening the next day at 3:00 p.m. for a confirm test with Dr. Nancy Decker. I wasn’t expecting to get in that quickly, and I didn’t know who Dr. Decker was as my OBGYN was Dr. Jen Emery, but since it is usually a simple visit, including a pee test and some general question answering, she assured me it would be fine and so we were set.

After I told Wayne that our appointment was set for the next day all he said was, “Here we go, Mama.” And although he has called me that a thousand times, the word “Mama” suddenly took on a whole new meaning.

That night as we lay in bed, he started to get nervous that we would go to the Dr and for some reason they would tell us that we were not pregnant. I told him not to worry, but he asked me to take the other test in the box as it had come with two. I said I didn’t want to that night, but I would in the morning.

"First Dr’s Visit/Sharing the News: Wayne’s Family"

Thursday, June 24, 2010 (5 wks, 1 day)

Well, I did end up taking the 2nd one to appease Wayne’s nerves, and that one was positive, too!

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On my way to work, Buffalo Clinic called which I thought was just to confirm my appointment for that afternoon, but actually they were calling to let me know that Dr. Decker had to leave for the afternoon, but Dr. Emery was available if that was ok. Uh yes that was PERFECT! Now I was more excited since Wayne was coming with me and they would be able to finally meet each other.

Upon arrival I was sent to the “Lab” to pee in cup. We were then taken back to a room and the nurse asked me some general questions. She left and about 5 minutes later Dr. Emery walked in and sat down.

“Well, it’s positive. Congratulations,” she said, looking at the both of us. Dr. Jen Emery is my OBGYN. She is a red-headed, ball of spitfire that can go toe to toe with Wayne’s sarcasm and if you are lucky enough to know Wayne, you know that is quite a fete.

So while talk continued on how I needed to stop hooking and smoking crack (just kidding for those that are reading this and don’t know me), we also went over some general nutrition facts as well as she told us how far along we were (5 weeks, 1 day) and told us our approximate due date (February 26, 2011). After all our questions were answered we were on our way.

We stopped at home to change and headed to Wayne’s softball games and then we decided to stop at his Mom’s house to share our news with her. She has wanted to be a Grandma for so long, so when Wayne told her I was pregnant, she didn’t believe him (always joking around) and she looked at me. I nodded my head at her and she immediately started crying. And actually when I say crying, I mean balling. She would stop and then we would talk about something and then she would start again. She was VERY happy for us if you couldn’t tell and VERY happy to finally have the title as GRANDMA!

The three of us called Andy on his cell phone and asked him if he was ready to be an Uncle. He replied with an enthusiastic “yes and it can call me Drunkel Andy.” Ha.

We went home that night and told Green Grandma, who is now GREAT Green Grandma. She was also VERY happy and started crying. She started talking to my belly saying: “Hi Appleseed, it’s your Green Grandma.” I told her that is what the size of it was and so now we joke that we should be like Gwyneth Paltrow and name it Apple. Haha. Not going to happen.

Sharing the News: Leah’s Family

Saturday, June 26, 2010 (5 wks, 3 days)

This afternoon we went to my parents house to tell them about the news. I was nervous, I’m not gonna lie. My Mom knew something was up. She said it was her “mother’s intuition.” One reason she knew something was up was the fact that both Wayne and I showed up “just to say hi,” which doesn’t really happen. Ever. We usually are there (especially together) for a purpose.

Right before we got there, my Dad had left to make a quick trip to the gas station and would be back any minute, but my Mom kept asking us, “what’s going on…what’s going on?” After our horrible stalling tactics, my Dad finally walked in the door and I sighed with relief. After a couple of seconds, my Mom asked again, “What’s up? I know something’s up.”

I can’t remember exactly what Wayne said, but it was to the effect of “Your daughter’s pregnant.”

Everyone looked at me for reassurance, as they always do, because no one believes him when he says something serious. My Dad gave me a hug right away and said Congratulations. He then hugged Wayne and said Congratulations. My sister, Amie, came over right away also and gave each of us a hug and said Congratulations.

My Mom on the other hand was teary eyed and just sitting there saying, “I knew it” over and over. Although she was in shock she was very happy and finally I went over to her to give her a big hug. She then got up and gave Wayne a hug and then we started chatting about how I found out and how far along I was and other details.

After about 20 minutes of that I went with her to drop my brother’s car off at church. (He was on his way home from a mission trip and at that point we were playing phone tag with each other.) I followed her to the church and when I got into her car to go back home, she grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes and said, ”You’re gonna be a Mom.” I squeezed her hand and said “I know, you’re gonna be a Grandma.” She just looked at me with tears in her eyes and went on to give me a mother/daughter speech which included A) How excited she is for me to experience all of this pregnancy stuff and B) As a mother of 5, there is no words that can describe the feelings you have when you see that baby for the first time.

We also talked about a touchy subject, miscarriage. But I assured her I knew it was a possibility (God forbid) and if it did happen we have always had the saying “Whatever happens, it happens for a reason.” I know those words ring true and even though it might be something tough, I am also a believer of “If God brought you to it, God will get you through it.”

One of my main reasons of sharing this information with my Mom and being able to talk about all this stuff, is that she has had 2 miscarriages in her life and I know she would be my BEST support system if anything like that happened to me. I love her so much and she truly is my BEST FRIEND.

After the 10 minute talk and some tears later we arrived back at the house. Wayne and I stayed for a little longer and then headed onto the next stop. THE HORTON’S!

Mark &Dianne Horton are Wayne’s Aunt and Uncle. They have Veronika and Aly that they adopted from Russia a few years ago and then Mark has Evan, Travis and Jared from his first marriage.

Anyways, they were outside doing yard work when we got to their house and so we headed inside to chat for a minute. Wayne started if off as he’s always done with saying something creative “so February 26th of next year we wanna get everyone together, cause she’s going to have a baby” as he points to me. He’s so funny, right?

So after they figured out that we weren’t kidding they were all SUPER excited. Hugs and congratulations went all around. We talked some more about different things and then Wayne and I were on our way. On our way home we called his Aunt Dana and left her a message asking her to call us when she could.

She ended up calling us back that night and although it’s weird to tell someone over the phone, we could tell she was very happy for us.

Later in the evening my brother, Ross, finally called and we put him on speaker phone. He later said he knew something was up and was going to ask me if I was pregnant when we put him on speaker phone, but we didn’t give him the chance and told him right away that he was going to be an Uncle. He was SO EXCITED and just couldn’t believe it.

Overall, that Saturday was a very busy and emotional, but HAPPY day.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Roller coaster of Emotion.

Leah