Friday, November 30, 2018

Coffee Conversations {11.30.2018}

Coffee Conversations {11.30.2018}
Friday, November 30, 2018
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Happy Friday! Just wanted to check in. It's been a full week month over here, so I'm looking forward to the weekend. And although it won't be a chill weekend, it will be fun nevertheless. We have concerts both Saturday night and Sunday night.

I can hardly believe that Christmas is right around the corner already. I feel like 2018 has gone by so dang fast.

I have been so behind on my television shows, so it was so nice over the long Thanksgiving weekend to get caught up on a few of my favorites:

Blindspot - I had stopped watching it halfway through last season, so I officially finished the last half of last season and the first half of this season so far.

Chicago One - On Wednesday nights is the 3 hour movie (not really, but 3 hours is a lot) of Chicago Med, Chicago Fire and Chicago PD. I am all caught up on these shows, too.

I was sick with a sinus infection over Thanksgiving, which wasn't fun, but it was the perfect excuse to watch lots of TV.

We're going on another broadcast work trip in a couple weeks. This time we are headed to Mexico. We've been to Jamaica twice now, so it will be fun to switch it up. Neither Wayne nor I have been to Mexico, so we are really looking forward to getting away for a few days in the midst of the busyness.

My sister is coming next Saturday to stay with the kids while we are gone. I'm looking forward to having her here and I know the kids are so excited.

Griffin is just about completely potty-trained. It all happened within the last few weeks. His teachers at his school really worked with him during the day as they are with him most of the time, but it has really stuck now, so we are hopeful it will continue. He will still be wearing a diaper at night for quite awhile, but not having to worry about diapers during the day is AWESOME!!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Thursday, November 8, 2018

Outsiders

Outsiders
Thursday, November 8, 2018
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To all my Route 91 family I am with you today and everyday and just know that I love you and am here for you if you need anything.

Outsiders don't understand that when shootings continue to happen over and over again it brings the PTSD back in full force. It brings up feelings and emotions we thought we had dealt with. Outsiders don't realize that just because it's been a year +, that we should be fine and all better and be able to move on. They just don't understand or get it.

We not only cope with what we went through on a daily basis, but on days like this, when another mass shooting happens, and the following days of seeing it on the news over and over again it's hard. Really hard. Physically, mentally and emotionally it's draining. It doesn't matter if it happens in a school or a church/synagogue or a bar. To hear the same things over and over again...thoughts and prayers....

Yes, I am grateful to wake-up everyday, but that doesn't take away the feelings and emotions. Feeling like no one in the real world actually cares. It's becoming a weekly occurrence and everyone is just constantly looking the other way. Which some people can do if they have never been through something like that before, but as survivors we can't look the other way. It consumes us over and over again. It's like a bad movie on repeat that we can't escape.

I am fortunate to have a great support system in my Husband, my kids and my friends. Not everyone has that. So please if you see someone stuggling, try and be that support system for them.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Body Booster - Part 1

Body Booster - Part 1
Friday, October 5, 2018
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So almost three years to the day (10/7/2015) Wayne had his gastric sleeve surgery. You can read all about that HERE. That procedure was the best decision he ever made for himself and even though it was a difficult road the following months after, it truly changed who he was for the better. I will forever be grateful for Dr. Tom and his team.

Now, today he is getting a less invasive procedure done at Belle Medical called HD Body Sculpting. He is getting his upper abdomen, lower abdomen and love handles done. With the 200 lbs he's lost since the surgery there were still a few problem areas that he wanted to take care of. Well, that's where Belle Medical steps in to help.

This is what he shared on his FB about it. We will be documenting his surgery, recovery and the following weeks and months as the sculpting process continues to work it's magic. He has been very open about all his struggles with weight loss and confidence even before the gastric sleeve surgery and will continue to be open about this, too. He truly feels that if he can help even one person with whatever they are going through or feeling by sharing his story, then it is all worth the vulnerability that can be so scary.


Now, let me just tell you that we have been together for 15+ years and I have loved him from the moment we met and knew shortly after we started officially dating that we were meant for each other.

I have loved him at his heaviest (440+ lbs) and supported him from the get go of whatever he needed to do to feel better about himself and gain that inner self-confidence that he felt he was missing. This whole journey has been about him and being THE BEST person he can be not only for himself, but for his family.

If you have ever met him, then you know he exudes confidence, but that doesn't mean that inside he is confident. There's a difference between the two and you would never know that about him. He still sees that 440+ lb guy in the mirror and struggles with that daily. It's hard to get out of that mindset when you were in it for so long. I am confident that this procedure will help him with the confidence he needs to feel the best for himself.

I have always supported him in whatever he has wanted to do, because I know that he supports me now in whatever I do and that he would support me in anything that I would want to do in the future.

Bottom line is: I am his biggest cheerleader.

So stay tuned for more updates on his procedure in the following days, weeks and months.

Monday, October 1, 2018

#VegasStronger

#VegasStronger
Monday, October 1, 2018
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This week has been hard. Like really hard. Like brain exploding one minute and then heart exploding the next. My eyes are tired from all the tears, but my hurt is full from all the love.

First off, we had to put our little Bella down last Sunday. She was almost 12 and as much as we hated doing it, it was time. She became blind about 4+ years ago and had gone downhill since then. She would only sporadically eat her food for the past few weeks, so we knew the time was getting closer.  Hailey of course was a wreck which made it 10x worse. But nevertheless, we rallied together and got through it as a family.

The vet called me on Friday morning saying that her remains, etc. were ready for pick-up. Wayne and Griff picked up her ashes Sunday morning and Griff was so cute about it. He wanted to hold her on the way home. Needless to say this didn't help with our emotions going into the month of October.


Today is October 1st. If you are new around here, please read HERE and HERE.


It’s been 365 days and there isn't one day that goes by that I don't think about that night and how differently things could have turned out. I wanna say that I'm doing well, but I guess it just depends on the day and time. It depends on where I am or what I'm doing or who I'm with. There are a lot of different factors that determine my mood and/or level of anxiety at any given time and I know that my fellow survivor family can relate.

For me it's not all about October 1st. For me it's more about October 2nd and everyday after. It's about continuing to process what we went through not only that night, but as the sun rose, as the city started moving and as we started healing as a community. It's not just about what we saw, what we heard, what we witnessed. It's about the healing I have done since that day, but also the healing that I have yet to do. It's about my everyday since that day.

It's about my amazing support system in my Husband and children. They are my motivation to keep going and be the best person, Wife and Mother I can be. They are my entire world and I try and show them that everyday. My one thought and fear as I was running for my life that night was that I just hoped that they knew how much I loved them. That's all I want...is for Wayne, Hailey and Griffin to know that I love them with all my heart.

It's about all the amazing people I have met since then. It's about all the amazing friends I now have since that night. It's about the relationships and the connections I have with my people now. That is my silver lining in all of this

It's about my two friends that were with me from Minnesota that weekend. I admit that I not only have #survivorsguilt, but guilt knowing that they wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for coming to visit me in Las Vegas for that weekend and that country music festival. To Samantha and Katie. I am so thankful that we made it out of there alive. I don't want to imagine it any other way. I love you both so much!


For me it's about the VGK organization and the friends that have come out of our #goknightsgo family. They will never truly know how they have helped this community and me and my family especially.

It's about how my city reacted and still reacts. For me it's about all the positive things that have come out of that very dark time and even though it sucks that it happened, I am thankful that I am still here to live everyday with the people I love.

A year ago we were #VegasStrong and now on October 1, 2018 we are #VegasStronger.

Friday, June 8, 2018

VGK: Forever and Always

VGK: Forever and Always
Friday, June 8, 2018
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I’ve been super emotional the last few days and especially today. Not because we didn’t win the Stanley Cup, but what we all have experienced the last 8+ months and woke up to this morning was much more than anything a Stanley Cup could ever give us. The way everyone has opened their hearts to this VGK Family is like no other. Every time I think I am ok, I go online and read what someone wrote, or I watch a video of Fluery apologizing or Tuch crying because he’s so emotional and just can’t keep it in. 

Or I read things like this:


And I lose it all over again.

Let me repeat that I am not emotional because we didn’t win last night. I am happy and at peace and even though I think some Capitals players are dirty, they ultimately played a better game. I am not going to say they were the better team, but they played better than we did. For us, this is so much more than just hockey. This is something bigger than the game itself. 

I am emotional as to what this team has not only given this city and their fans this season, but also my little family. The support and love from everyone has been outstanding. The friendships developed and the messages received whether in person or through social media giving my Husband a compliment or thanking me for sharing him with everyone (haha) or saying how adorable our kids are (aka Gameday Griff) are unbelievable and humbling.  Also, I want to thank you for helping me heal. Thank you for reaching out and chatting or saying Hi at games. Thank you for taking my mind away even for a minute from any dark space. Thank you for the hugs and high fives. Thank you for embracing us. Thank you for being there and being you.


 The D Fam will always be Minnesota WILD fans and hold a special place in our heart for that team because that is where Wayne and I grew up, but Las Vegas is our home now and the Vegas Golden Knights are OUR team. And I’m not talking about just the players, but everyone who had anything to do with the team from the coaches to behind the scenes and especially the fans and our city. 

OUR CITY! 

The way our city embraced this team and rallied together and will continue to rally together for seasons and years to come.

We won a lot more this season than a Stanley Cup that's for sure and for that I
thank you friends from the bottom of my heart.


#vgk #alwaysandforever #vegasstrong #vegasborn
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