Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Juggling

Juggling
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
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My car is still parked in the parking lot across the street from the festival grounds. The officer told Wayne that we won't be able to retrieve it until at least Saturday. At the earliest. Why? 

Because that parking lot is "just as much of a crime scene as the actual festival grounds." 

While I knew that in the back of my head, I couldn't actually process it until actually hearing it. How did I know that? It was the parking lot where we ran through. It was my car that I texted Sam to run to. It was supposed to be our meeting place to reunite before figuring out our next steps. Instead we couldn't wait there for her. We didn't have time. We had to keep running. We had to keep moving. 

And we did. 

Through that parking lot.

Out through the fence in the back and down the street running away from that lot. Leaving not only my car behind, but the sound of the constant rounds of fire and screaming.

I know that it is a crime scene because there were people bleeding. People injured, hurt. Bodies not moving. Blood. So much blood. I myself almost tripped and fell over a body while running. It is a sight that I cannot get out of my head. And I wonder if they were one of the 59 that were killed or the 515+ somewhere at one of the hospitals here in Vegas.

While driving down to the parking lot this morning with Wayne to get more information about the timeline on retrieving my car, I started crying. I know that I have to get my car. I can't just leave it there. Abandon it. But the thought of walking through that parking lot again and something about driving off just gives me a feeling that I can't put my finger on. I can't explain it. I just feel it.

It has nothing to do with my car and not having it. But instead me thinking of what happened all around it. Surrounding it. Right next to it. I will drive Betty White, as I have named it, everyday knowing in the back of my mind what awfulness and pure evil happened all around it. Again, I can't explain it, it's just a feeling of something I can't put into words.

So while we juggle having one car, one set of car seats, and multiple emotions and thoughts, I will continue to be grateful that is the extent of our week. Juggling. Thinking. Processing. Healing.




Monday, October 2, 2017

#VegasStrong

#VegasStrong
Monday, October 2, 2017
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It was about 14+ hours ago that I heard that first POP POP POP. Standing in the pit on the floor watching Jason Aldean do what he does best, getting ready to have such a great night just like the last two nights before. I was confused as I had never heard that particular sound.

POP POP POP.

To say that it’s not replaying in my head over and over is a complete understatement. I didn’t know what was going on until I saw the band being rushed off the stage. I said to my friend Katie, "this isn’t good. We have to go." We quickly made our way to where we had a table. Where our other friend Sam was sitting. She was nowhere to be found. My heart dropped.

10:07 p.m. was the time that I texted her “Where are you?”

While taking cover behind the bar and continuously hearing the POP POP POP I knew we had to get out of there. We had to just run. It sounded like it was coming from every direction. I looked at Katie in the face and told her we had to go. We had to keep moving. I couldn't just sit there. She said ok, I grabbed her hand and we started running. Some people ran. Some people just stayed laying there taking cover. I needed to run. I needed to get out of there. People were falling. People were screaming. People were bleeding. We just kept running.

I didn't let go of Katie's hand.

 

All the while POP POP POP.

As I called my Husband to let him know that something was happening, I could hear the panic in his voice as he could hear the panic in mine and again the rapid and never-ending POP POP POP in the background. I couldn’t really stay on the phone. I said I would keep him updated and that I loved him and hung up. I had to keep moving and we had to find Sam. We made it across the fair grounds. We made it through the parking lot standing by my car and when we thought we could stop running, more POP POP POP and we were told to just keep running. Keep moving.

We eventually found Sam. We were running towards another casino to take cover and find some sort of shelter. All of a sudden people were running towards us scared and shouting. We were trapped. We didn’t know where to go. We ended up going into a timeshare resort. People were filing in and we were still hearing the POP POP POP. People were carrying in wounded and injured. Residents were opening up their rooms to people and the three of us ended up in a room with 27 other people. This couple had taken 30 complete strangers into their room. Just out of the generosity of their heart. They offered water, snacks, anything they could to be comforting. We had people that had fallen and bumped heads, sprained ankles, a diabetic. No one in our room was seriously injured. We all rallied together. Still scared and not knowing everything, but trying to be a comfort in all the craziness.

 

At first we sat in the dark, waiting for everything to just stop. Once the quietness set in, we turned on the TV quietly watching in silence as everything was unfolding in front of us.

We were in that room until about 3:00 a.m.  4+ hours with complete strangers. Minds racing. Trying to stay in contact with loved ones. Tears shed. Hugs given. Comfort exchanged. At about 3:15, I texted Wayne that we were finally allowed to leave. That was about when the police came to that particular resort to check on the wounded and offer medical help, telling us it was clear and we could leave.We made our way to the lobby to wait. He left the house and made his way to us. He wasn’t able to come directly to us as the roads around the resort were still blocked off. So we had to walk a few blocks to his truck.

I remember walking towards him and his truck. A glimpse of hope and much needed comfort. All three of us fell into his arms before climbing into the truck. That drive was such a blur. I was numb and out of it, but my mind was racing at the same time. We got home a little after 4 a.m. and I immediately broke down and hugged my kids and cried over them as they slept. Thankful just to be able to touch them again and watch them breathe and sleep.

All I could do was thank God that Wayne wasn’t there with me. Even though I knew he would've been helped me tremendously, I thanked God one of us was home safe with our babies. I know he feels guilty for not being there with me, but I am thankful he was not as weird as that sounds. I definitely had all my guardian angels watching over me last night.

I hugged and cried with my sister that is in town from Minnesota and my Husband. I just couldn’t stop. My puppies were coming up to me wondering why I was hysterically crying. I talked to my Mom on the phone in Minnesota. I could hear how worried she was about me. It was all rushing back to me. The adrenaline was wearing off and my emotions were winning and taking over. I was exhausted in every way imaginable. I still am. I’ve slept about an hour. I dropped my friends off at the airport early this morning. Hugging them a little tighter this time, telling them I love them. I came home from the airport and Hailey was awake. I hugged her tight and again started sobbing. Her not knowing why or what was going on. I had a difficult conversation with her about the events and what happened. We cried together and just hugged each other. It was a good talk with her. Wayne and I pride ourselves on how we are raising her by not sheltering her with certain things. We knew she may hear something at school or see something on TV and with it being here in Vegas and with me being so emotional. There was no way we could sugar coat it. I know we will also have another conversation after he gets home from work tonight.

To my Husband. Oh my Husband. I have no words other than thank you for loving me. He didn’t sleep at all and went into work this morning at 5am after bringing us home. He is doing a live broadcast with Taylor and Tony. They will be working all day to continue to bring this community together.

To my Mom, Dad, sister Amie, brother Ross, sister Kate, family and friends, thank you and I love you all.

I have to shout out the Las Vegas Metro and other surrounding cities law enforcement, EMT’s and SWAT teams. There’s no one quite like them and they have a very unique city to protect.

I am proud to live in Las Vegas. The community so far has rallied and come together like no other. With 58 dead and 515+ injured, how do you start to even process this? All the stories coming out of this of people helping is amazing. #vegasstrong

Please please please, if you don’t take anything away from reading this just please live every single day you can to the fullest and love your people hard and with everything you got. Whoever they are. You truly never know when today could be your last, and with as cliche as it sounds, it is so very true. #loveyourpeople

Thank you to everyone that reached out either through texting or calling or social media or through Wayne. People that I don’t talk to on the regular, past co-workers and bosses reaching out to me to make sure that me and my family are safe. I truly appreciate every message, thought and prayer. I truly feel all your love and I love you all right back. God Bless.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

What's Up Wednesday [Six Twenty Eight Seventeen)

What's Up Wednesday [Six Twenty Eight Seventeen)
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
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What we are eating this week...

We have been doing a lot of grilling this month since we moved into the new house and got a new grill. We call the grill Black Betty. She's a beauty. It's been a hot month and grilling is just so much more convenient. Burgers, brats, hot dogs, steaks, potatoes, corn...pretty much everything.



What I'm reminiscing about...

Hailey being a 1st grader...



Our Minnesota trip...





Hailey turning 6 and her party last Saturday...



What I'm loving...

Our pool...



What we've been up to...

Swimming...lots of swimming...



Wayne and I also binged The Ranch on Netflix. If you haven't watched it, you NEED to!!! We finished Season 3 in two nights (10  - 30 minute episodes) and it gets funnier with each season!! Plus, it has Sam Elliott. Duh.



What I'm dreading...

Nothing really. The rest of the year is going to be a busy one. I am changing jobs and things are also changing at Wayne's work, so there's just a lot of changes and busy-ness on the horizon. All very good things for our little family.

What I'm working on...

Wrapping things up at work this week. Everything on the job front happened very fast, so it's been a little bit of a whirlwind.

Getting my pictures organized from my phone to Dropbox and from Dropbox to my external hard drive.

Continuing to get the house put together. Still. We moved Memorial Day weekend. We were there for less than 2 weeks, gone to Minnesota for 10 days and now we've been back for about a week. So there's still some things that need to get put away, areas organized and items purchased.

What I'm excited about...

My new job, if you can't tell. I've been kinda bored the last couple months and feeling very unfulfilled, so this will be a good change and I will be back in FAMILY LAW!!



What I'm watching/reading...

Not reading much other than blogs. I already said we binged The Ranch. We also need to catch up on The Walking Dead. We are so behind. I haven't been watching too much TV lately. Can you believe I haven't seen 1 episode of this season's Bachelorette? I know. It's unheard of.

What I'm listening to...

A little bit of everything and definitely Chris Young and The Swon Brothers. They are gonna be in town on Friday at Red Rock Casino! Woohoo!






What I'm wearing...

Capris and tanks to work. Shorts and tanks on the weekends. It's been crazy hot here, so the less clothing the better. And my swimsuit whenever I can. Again. Lots of swimming and fun in the sun!

What I'm doing this weekend...

This weekend is 4th of July!! I was supposed to have a 4 day weekend (Saturday - Tuesday), but my new job wants me ASAP, so I am working Monday to get all the introductory stuff out of the way.

Friday night, Chris Young and The Swon Brothers are at Red Rock Casino, which will be so fun!!

I'm also hoping to get a brown cupboard painted in our house this weekend. All the other trim in the house is white, except for a brown cupboard upstairs in our hallway. I hate it.

We will be grilling and swimming for sure.

What I'm looking forward to next month...
  • Starting my new job on the 3rd.
  • 4th of July and fireworks.
  • Faith Hill and Tim McGraw are here on the 13th.
  • Griffin turns 2 on the 14th.

That face melts me.

What else is new...

We purchased a season ticket package for NHL this year! It's Vegas' first year having any professional sports team, so we are every excited! Also, the Minnesota Wild come to Vegas next year on March 16th!!


That's about it friends!! Have a great holiday week!

Friday, June 23, 2017

Friday Letters

Friday Letters
Friday, June 23, 2017
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Dear Vacation,

While I loved every minute of you (minus the humidity), I am happy to be home. There is something wonderful about being home and getting back to the norm of life. Mostly I missed my bed.

#mattressfirmholla


Dear Starbucks,

I am sorry I broke up with you. I just need a break. It's me, not you.

#Iamcoffeefree


Dear Fatty Foods,

Why do you have to taste so good? I love you and hate you all at the same time.

#swimsuitseason


Dear Griffin,

You were so good on the plane ride. I really have no complaints. Next time though you will have your own seat.

#almosttwo


Dear Hailey,

You will be 6 on Monday. 6! You will have to use both hands now when someone asks you how old you are. Wahhh!

#stopgrowing

Dear Husband,

You are my everything and a rockstar!

#iloveyou


Dear Weekend,

Please don't go by too fast. I desperately need you to stick around a little while longer. You will be busy, but fun.

#pleasedon'tgo


Dear Sleep,

I miss you. Griffin is still not sleeping through the night. Hopefully one day? One can still hope, right?

#wishfulthinking


Dear Job,

I am sorry I broke up with you. It's me, not you. I promise.

#kbye

Friday, May 12, 2017

Friday Favorites [Five Twelve Seventeen]

Friday Favorites [Five Twelve Seventeen]
Friday, May 12, 2017
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Loving my new Apple watch band. I found it on Amazon HERE. They have other colors, so I might get more in the future. #cuteaccesory

 
 
 
This has become a regular occurrence in our house. He doesn't actually go potty or anything, but he likes sitting on there. So that's what we do. We sit. And wait. One of these days he will go and I rather have him sit and do nothing than be scared of it and want nothing to do with it. So this is a win in my book. #pottytalk
 
 
 
 
We're going to Claim Jumper for their Mother's Day brunch buffet. I'm so excited!! #brunchislife
 
 
 
 
We're going to Helldorado Days tonight for a bit. Wayne has to host something, so we're gonna make it a family night! #helldoradodays
 
 
 
 
 
We have lots of fun stuff to look forward to coming up:
 
1. 14 days until we move
 
2. 26 days until Hailey is a 1st grader
 
3. 27 days until we take our summer trip to Minnesota
 
 
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
 
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